Matthew Dicks

The Pteranodon song

My daughter loves dinosaurs and she loves music, so a combination of the two was inevitable, albeit slightly bizarre.

And very cute.

“In My Life” I have never seen anything better

Yes, having children can make life more complicated and expensive, but you get a moment like this and you can’t believe how lucky you are to have this little person in your life.

Breakfast and The Beatles (and a little chair dancing)

Have you ever seen a better breakfast?

Cat Stevens taught me that authors should not act like jerks.

I have a more-than-slight tendency to act like a jerk. I can be biting, sarcastic, oppositional, confrontational, aggravating, nonconforming and disagreeable.

My mother consistently referred to me as The Instigator.

I know all this must be surprising to you. I am typically perceived as sweet, perpetually pleasant and lovable. I know. 

This is because I have learned to restrain myself. I have chosen to become more civil. I try desperately to be more polite. I have made the conscious decision to not express every thought and idea that comes to mind. 

This is not to say that I am the model of civility.  I am probably still more outspoken, opinionated and potentially offensive than most people would prefer. I still consistently express controversial and nonconformist ideas. In many ways, these ideas are the fuel that fires this blog and many of the things that I write.

But I am a much more civil and reasoned person than I was ten years ago. I measure my words much more carefully today.  

Part of this has been a natural, albeit exceedingly slow, maturing process.

Part of this has been a conscious decision on my part to choose my battles more wisely. 

Part of it has been the positive influence of my wife, who is universally acknowledged to be the kindest, sweetest person on the planet (unless you cut her in line or attempt to cheat at Scrabble). 

But part of it has also been my recognition that a reader’s perception of me as a person will likely impact his or her opinion of my books.

If a reader does not like the author as a person, the likelihood that he or she will not like the author’s books increases considerably, regardless of the quality of the story or the writing itself.

While this may not seem fair, it is undeniably true.   

Cat Stevens taught me this.

I discovered Cat Stevens’ music more than a decade after he had recorded his final song, and I fell in love with it immediately. The folksy guitar sound and award-winning lyrics hooked me at once.

I think Oh Very Young and Peace Train are utterly perfect songs in a small, under-populated pantheon of perfect songs.

For a time, my personal theme song was Stevens’ Cant Keep It In (an homage to my inability to refrain from speaking my mind). Later, I changed my theme song to Stevens’ slightly less aggressive If You Want To Sing Out, Sing Out.

For a fraction of a second, my love for Cat Stevens might have surpassed that of Bruce Springsteen, Bon Jovi and The Beatles. 

In the height of my personal adoration of his music, I learned about Stevens’ remarks supporting the fatwa against Salman Rushdie following his conversion to Islam.

These remarks, which Stevens later denied and then retracted, cast his music in a new and unfortunate light for me. A pall descended over something that I had once seen as beautiful and perfect, and though the actual songs had not changed, it seemed as if they had.

It makes no sense. If I love the music, why should the opinions of the artist make a difference to me? Great music is great music. I loved it without reservation yesterday. Why should today be any different.

But it was. 

For many, and perhaps most people, their opinion of the artist will unavoidably impact their opinion of the work.

As an author, this is an important lesson to remember. We are in the business of expressing our opinions and ideas. Opinions and ideas are the capital through which we earn our living.  

In my short time working in the publishing industry, I have met many authors.  The great majority have been incredibly kind, surprisingly humble and endlessly generous people.

A few have not.

And whether I intended it to happen or not, my opinion of their work changed upon learning that they were not as nice as I had once hoped.

This is not to say that authors and other public figures should be disingenuous. I believe that honesty is the most important quality in any public figure, and authors, when expressing themselves, should keep this in the forefront of their minds. 

Sometimes my absolute adherence to honesty still gets me in trouble. 

But tied for a close second behind honesty should be qualities like thoughtfulness nuance, politeness, civility and respect.

These are qualities that I was lacking a decade ago.  

Though I may sometimes come close to line in terms of being potentially rude and offensive in the ideas I express, I rarely step over the line today. I may operate close to or even on the line, but there there was a time in my life when I only existed on the other side of the line.

I have since learned that Cat Stevens has been recognized by organizations around the world as a philanthropist and humanitarian. His departure from music industry led him to a lifetime of good work on behalf of children and the poor around the world. 

And recently Stevens returned to making music under the name Yusuf Islam. His first album was released in 2009. I purchased it immediately.

It’s okay. Not but close to the greatness of his earlier work.

Is this because I cannot help but allow his comments about Salman Rushdie to taint my opinion, even after Stevens retracted them?

I’m not sure.

And therein lies the problem of acting like a jerk. It’s impossible to know if your artistry is being harmed by your jerkiness.

So don’t be a jerk.

Be honest. Be forthright. Be opinionated. Be controversial.

But be respectful and polite, too. At least a little. 

A potentially great day ruined by you-know-what

Today was a potentially great day for me.  

To start, Cosmopolitan UK named my next book, MEMOIRS OF AN IMAGINARY FRIEND, #1 on their Best Books for February 2012 list  and offered a glowing review.

The cover of the book also appeared publicly for the first time, and it’s one that I love. In fact, I have seen a sneak peek of the US cover as well and am blessed with a bounty of great art for both sides of the pond.

   

The actual UK cover will feature a quote from the very generous, internationally bestselling author Jodi Picoult.  Ms. Picoult offered me the best blurb of my life in regards to the book.  It reads:

A novel as creative, brave, and pitch-perfectas its narrator, an imaginary friend named Budo, who reminds us that bravery comes in the most unlikely forms. It has been a long time since I read a book that has captured me so completely, and has wowed me with its unique vision. You've never read a book like this before. As Budo himself might say: Believe me.

A pretty good start to the day. Right?

During the school day, I managed to earn my students’ respect in a realm rarely achieved by an elementary school teacher:

Music 

A truly outstanding a cappella group performed at our school this afternoon, singing a number of Motown hits by Michael Jackson, KC and the Sunshine Band and others. The kids loved this music, which I thought was odd since they normally make fun of me for liking “old music” like The Beatles, Van Morrison and Springsteen. 

When I questioned them about this after the performance, they explained that Michael Jackson, The Who, Neil Diamond and others are not considered old in their minds (a few admitted that The Beatles were probably acceptable as well).  When I showed them that I have 38 Michael Jackson songs on my phone, they gained an immediate, albeit grudging, respect for my taste in music. 

I went on to show them the 67 Neil Diamond songs, the three full albums by The Who, and the handful of songs by new artists like Katy Perry, Maroon 5 and Lady Gaga that currently reside on my phone. 

They left school feeling like I possessed a modicum of coolness, which in the land of ten-year olds is quite an achievement for any adult. 

At dinner, I told my daughter that I loved her, and with a piece of bread still stuffed in her mouth, she said, “I love you so much, too, Daddy.”

Clara has said that she loves me many times before, but something about her earnestness and sincerity nearly brought me to tears.

It was as if she really understood what the words meant for the first time.   

Later, I felt our baby kick inside my wife’s belly for the first time.  Actually, I felt it kick several times. It was jumping around so much that it nearly made Elysha sick.

I still remember the first time I felt Clara kick, and this was just as exciting. 

An unforgettable moment, both then and now.

But the Patriots lost the Super Bowl on Sunday night, and in horrific fashion, so all this good news was wasted on me.  There was no way in hell that I was going to feel at all good just 24 hours after a loss like that, regardless of what happened during the day.

Nice try, universe, but I don’t think so. 

Tilly and the Wall: Who needs a drummer when you have tap shoes?

I often claim (with excessive pride) that I have introduced my wife to more positive things in her life than she has introduced to me.

Television shows, friends, activities, locales.

I argue that she is and will forever be deeply indebted to me in this regard, even though she thinks the whole argument is stupid and petty. 

She’s probably right, but I’m working on a post of our competing lists anyway. 

But credit Elysha for introducing me to Tilly and the Wall, an amazing indie band that uses a tap dancer in lieu of a drummer. 

Their music is great, the use of the tap dancer is innovative as hell, and in watching their YouTube videos, it’s clear that they are charismatic performers. 

Elysha admits to having a girl crush on the tap dancer, and I don’t blame her.  

She’s known about this band for a while, leaving me to wonder if there is more that she should be introducing me to and if she is simply holding back on me.

I’ve listened to about a dozen of Tilly and the Wall’s songs so far, and this one is my favorite.

Feeling uncertain about my chest

I like the song “Hey, Soul Sister” by Train a lot.

I’ve been listening to it this week as part of my evening run playlist, so I’ve had an opportunity to pay closer attention to the lyrics. 

The second verse has left me feeling somewhat disconcerted. 

Just in time, I'm so glad you have a one track mind like me
You gave my life direction
A game show love connection, we can't deny
I'm so obsessed
My heart is bound to beat right out my untrimmed chest
I believe in you, like a virgin, you're Madonna
And I'm always gonna wanna blow your mind

Untrimmed chest?

What the hell does that mean?

As a guy with a lot of hair on his chest, I can’t help but wonder if there is something I’m supposed to be doing with my chest hair that I’m not.

Have I failed in the personal grooming department for all my life when it comes to chest hair?

A little help, please?

Anne Hathaway as Lil’ Wayne

One of the ways that I can tell that something is great is if I think my wife will love it. 

With the exception of Oprah, her taste in all things is impeccable.

As soon as I saw this video, I knew that she would love it.

Therefore it must be great.   

It’s a perfect example of how successful a person can be when she chooses to exit her comfort zone and attempt something unexpected and counter to everything she has done previously.    

You have to ask yourself:

Would Lil’ Wayne have the same courage to perform in the style of Anne Hathaway?

I’m guessing no.

In need of a new theme song

I need a new theme song. 

My first, from several years back, was Simon and Garfunkel's I Am a Rock.  It was a time in my life when I was dating a fictional character on a now-defunct television program and feeling rather alone, and so the song fit my mood well.

I was alone, damn it, but I was fine.  Great, even.  

Plus it has the line “I have my books and my poetry to protect me.”

Any song with a literary reference has an inside track. 

Then I met my wife and she insisted that I change my song, which was good considering most women would probably have insisted that I ditch the stupid idea of a theme song altogether.  So after careful deliberation, I chose If You Want to Sing Out, Sing Out by Cat Stevens.  I love the freedom of choice that the song insisted upon, the unabashed acknowledgement that you can do whatever the hell you want, regardless of what anyone says. 

That theme song lasted for about a year, and then a small group of despicable, cowardly and vicious cretins attempted to ruin my life.  In the aftermath, I heard Cat Steven’s lesser-known song Can’t Keep It In and instantly fell in love with it. 

Another switch was in order. 

Once again Stevens sings about choice, but this time, it’s the choice to say what you want and feel, as well as the inability to do otherwise.

The title lyrics alone suit me perfectly.   

But there is also a section in the first part of the song that really speak to me:

You've got so much to say, say what you mean,
mean what you're thinking, and think anything.
Oh why, why must you waste you're life away,
you've got to live for today

If I could teach my daughter anything, these would be the words I would want her to learn and embody someday.

For a long time, it was the perfect theme song.

But today I find myself in search of a new theme song.  While I still think Can’t Keep It In applies well to my life, the song is simply too subdued for my tastes.  I would love for Joey Ramone or the late Joe Strummer or The Violent Femmes to record their own version of Can’t Keep It In, but absent that miracle, I am looking for a theme song that has a heavier sound and a more driving beat.

Something I can workout to and blast out of the windows of my car. 

Bon Jovi’s 2009 release We Weren’t Born to Follow has potential, but it doesn’t feel quite right.  It possesses many of the same themes that the pervious two songs had, including the belief that a person must be himself regardless of the opinions of others, and it also demands optimism from the listener, which I like a lot, but still, I’m not sure if it’s the right song.

It’s a pretty good video, though.  So there’s that. 

It might be, but I’m not ready to settle yet. 

So my search continues.

Two questions for you, dear reader:

1.  Do you have a personal theme song, and if so, what is it?

2.  Do you have any suggestions for my personal theme song?

Wikipedia may be the single greatest creation in human history, but damn it needs an editor

I love Wikipedia.  I think it is one of the single greatest creations in human history.

Reading Wikipedia has become a bit of a passion for me.  Though there is always a reason I find myself plowing through a passage, I am never disappointed with what I find.   

A couple days ago I read the entry for "Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da", one of my favorite Beatles’ songs, looking for the origin behind the phrase Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da.

It turns out that Paul stole it from an African conga player and was later sued for royalties.

I also learned that Paul wrote the song but John hated it, eventually forcing a more up-tempo beat after a heated exchange. 

Also, the line, "Desmond stays at home and does his pretty face" was a mistake.  Paul sung the line incorrectly during a recording session (Molly was supposed to be at home, doing her pretty face), but the rest of the band liked the mistake so much that it stuck.

Yesterday I read the entry for Dirty Dancing, learning among other things that Jennifer Grey and Patrick Swayze did not get along during much of the filming of the movie, something you might have never guessed based upon the final product.   

Also, Dirty Dancing is in large part based on screenwriter Eleanor Bergstein's own childhood: She is the younger daughter of a Jewish doctor from New York, spent summers with her family in the Catskills, participated in "Dirty Dancing" competitions, and was herself called "Baby" as a girl.

Bergstein was apparently talking about herself when she wrote, “Nobody puts Baby in the corner.”

See what I mean?  Every entry is a fascinating story waiting to be discovered. 

For all it’s greatness, however, Wikipedia does have it's problems.  The most glaring (other than a lack of an entry for me) is its frequent need for a professional editor. 

This morning I was researching New Jersey Turnpike rest stops for the book I am writing.  The Turnpike names each of it’s rest stops after famous people from New Jersey, and I needed the name of a northbound rest stop close to New York.   

Naturally I found it on Wikipedia. 

But the list (pasted below) needs an editor badly. The blinding repetition and unnecessary redundancy contained made me want to pull my hair out.

Clara Barton Service Area named after Clara Barton.
Molly Pitcher Service Area named after Molly Pitcher.
Thomas Edison Service Area named after… you guessed it. Thomas Edison.

And yes, I know that I could edit the list myself and thus contribute a small part to the greatness of Wikipedia, but I am in the midst of writing at least three books (not to mention this blog, a children’s book, a short story, and a dozen other smaller pieces), so my time and energy are best directed elsewhere.

And besides, I try to avoid writing for free at all costs. 

Also, there are people in the world who actually enjoy writing, editing and otherwise maintaining Wikipedia.   

I enjoy benefiting from their efforts.

Even when they write as poorly as this.

• Clara Barton Service Area, named for Clara Barton, (southbound, milepost 5.4, in Oldmans Township)
• John Fenwick Service Area, named for John Fenwick, (northbound, 5.4, in Oldmans Township)
• Walt Whitman Service Area, named for Walt Whitman, (southbound, 30.2, in Cherry Hill Township)
• J. Fenimore Cooper Service Area, named for James Fenimore Cooper, (northbound, 39.4, in Mount Laurel Township)
• Richard Stockton Service Area, named for Richard Stockton, (southbound, 58.7, in Hamilton Township)
• Woodrow Wilson Service Area, named for Woodrow Wilson, (northbound, 58.7, in Hamilton)
• Molly Pitcher Service Area, named for Molly Pitcher, (southbound, 71.7, in Cranbury Township)
• Joyce Kilmer Service Area, named for Joyce Kilmer, (northbound, 78.7, in East Brunswick Township)
• Thomas Edison Service Area, named for Thomas Edison, (southbound, 92.9, in Woodbridge Township)
• Grover Cleveland Service Area, named for Grover Cleveland, (northbound, 92.9, in Woodbridge Township)
• Alexander Hamilton Service Area, named for Alexander Hamilton, (southbound, eastern spur, 111.6, in the Town of Secaucus)
• Vince Lombardi Service Area, named for Vince Lombardi, (northbound/southbound, 116.0 (eastern spur), 115.5 (western spur), in the Borough of Ridgefield)